I need your opinion

My oldest daughter had lunch with Kelly on Thursday and informed ne that Kelly would be calling me Friday. She said Kelly looked and seemed good, and that Kelly said she is back in day-treatment. I personally have a hard time beleiving this! I told her that the last time was THE LAST TIME! I told her I couldn't do this anymore and I meant it! Kelly did call today (Friday) but I missed the call and she left a message that we needed to talk as she felt there was misscommunication last time (how do you misunderstand F*** Off?) She also said she needs to open a bank account and wants to get together so she can discuss it with me. (She wants the $2,000 I have in my bank account from her unemployment checks) OK, here's where I need your opinion, do I get together with her and giver her the cash? Or as I feel right now not interested in anything she has to say, since I can't believe anything she says? Oldest daughter says giver her the money and what happens happens. I feel NO that much cash is just asking for trouble. She relapsed when she had $195. What will happen with 2 thousand? I know I know by not giving it, I am attempting to control the situation. But if I give it am I being an enabler? Oh the headaches have begun again!!!

Thanks for the concern!

I want to say thanks for the concern and comments I have gotton. I haven't heard anymore from Kelly and don't know what's going on. I have a bad feeling but am working on trying to keep the bad thoughts at bay. I think maybe I have to just HOPE and pray she is doing what she should and let the chips fall where they will. I still am working with my own thoughts repeating the 3 C's. I haven't posted only because I haven't heard anything. I am still here reading all of your blogs for the wisdom each of us has for each other.

Coping

Well, I haven't seen Kelly nor have I heard from her. She has texted me to get money to rent a room. I gave cash to her sister who took her to the place she's staying to pay for a months rent. Her sister says she looks good and seemed fine. And that Kelly says she is back on track, going to day treatment 5 days a week.

Personally I think I have been handling it better than I anticipated. I broke down the first 24 hours. Then I kept saying the 3 C's over and over untill I believed it again.

It is hard to be a mom who can't fix stuff for your kids.

11 months clean and she relapsed!

Well the it has happened. What I hoped I would never have to do again, deal with another relapse. After 11 months of being clean, Kelly has relapsed!! She has been receiving unemployment checks and I have been controlling the cash flow for bus tickets and and incidentals. Last weekend when she was here she looked funny but we didn't want to borrow trouble so we didn't say anything. Then Tuesday she called saying she lost her wallet with all her money and ID in it and her cell phone payment was due and would I take it out of the money I had for her and pay it online. I said yes but I told her she needed to be more careful.and I knew she didn't seem that upset abput it but her sober house is in a very bad neighborhood so it was plausible. Thursday she came over to get more money and again she looked funny but again I didn't want to borrow trouble so I didn't say nothing. I text her Friday and Saturday and she answered right away so I assumed I was worring about nothing. Sunday I got a call from my oldest daughter saying Kelly called and she had relapsed and turned herself into detox. She claims that she only used for 1 1/2 days but looking back I doubt it. I called the detox place to day just to be told by her that she wishes everbody incluiding me would just F*** Off. Now I'm pissed off but I won't let her know how much this hurts AGAIN!!!


I think I more pissed at her for doing this to her sister. She has been planning her wedding and once Kelly got clean she was to be the Maid of honor. THIS SO SUCKS!!

A Great Day

Kelly had invited her sister to the art museum for her birthday and they spent the afternoon together. I was kind of worried how it would go.

I got phone calls from each of them separatly within minutes of the afternoon ending and they both said it was the BEST time ever!!!! They both had a great time and Kelly couldn't wait to go to her meeting to say this is what being clean can be like. She was in tears!! Jackie said it was the best birthday ever!! I am so very proud of both of them!!!! It makes me cry to see them FINALLY acting like the sisters they should have always been. Kelly is worried that once her sister is married she will not have time for her. I explained that as long as she's clean, her sister will always make time for her. She said she understands. And she says no way does she wanna go back to the way things were.

27 years old and still not an adult

We celebrated Kellys 27th birthday Sunday. It was a nice time. But she still don't get why the trust is not here yet. I tried to explain that if she wants trust she needs to show MUCH more honest towards us. She was given a new tatoo as a present from some of her friends and knows how I feel about her getting more. (She has quite a few now) I told her that if she feels there is nuthing wrong with getting more then she should just tell me. I'm sure there are a lot of things I won't like about the way she and her sister live their lives and that is fine but trying to be sneaky and lying about it only makes it even harder to trust ANYTHING they say. Why is that so hard to understand? I may get upset but I get much more upset when she tries to be sneaky about it. If you believe in what you are doing. Own it!! If you don't. MAYBE you shouldn't be doing it!!

Same is Good

Life has been good for a while, though I still have my fears and worries. Kelly is still in touch with some of her old friends she claims aren't into drugs. I worry because I feel if this "friend" were true where was she during Kellys ordeal?

I know I shouldn't look for trouble, but maybe I see a little clearer now.